Sarah WallockJust the highlights of people’s lives are broadcasted on social media. All the accomplishments, beautiful views, and the picture-perfect curated moments are presented to the world. But what about the not-so-good days, difficult feelings, and the times where life doesn’t go as planned? Ultimately, social media cannot replace human connection although many people treat it as their antidote to loneliness.
Additionally, what not enough people are talking about is the effect of social media on our collective mental health. Although there may be benefits of social media, overall, using these platforms the wrong way can be extremely damaging to our mental health But there’s good news: we can take back control.
My Ever-Changing Relationship With Social Media
No matter where you grow up, there is pressure to succeed, look good, and do well. Growing up in Southern California, this pressure to be aesthetically perfect felt like a massive weight. Everyone can relate to feeling like they don’t fit a stereotypical image of beauty. Maybe you’re a woman being told you’re not skinny enough. Maybe you’re a man being told you’re not strong enough. Or maybe you feel like you don’t align with gender norms whatsoever. No matter how you categorize this internalization, it effects everyone in some way.
The noise of social media became too loud for me. In California, I was totally plugged in. Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, YouTube, Twitter, Tumbler, you name it. I wasn’t obsessed but I wasn’t uninvolved either. I started to realize the direct correlation that being on social media had on my mental health. It wasn’t a good one… The best thing I have ever done was disconnect from social media.
As a kid, I went to a sleep away summer camp every year. I played outdoors, met people from all over the state and world, ran away from my issues at home, but most importantly: existed completely disconnected from the outside world. No phones, no computers, not even electricity in the cabins.
This had to be life in its purest form. All news travels by word-of-mouth, because its the only way it can. We eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner as a camp family, face-to-face. We exercise all day long and connect with people in real life. Everything is straightforward and the communication has to be effective, because there is no option to hide behind your computer or phone.
When you touch your phone after 4 weeks for the first time and it’s cold, foreign and just a strange object. It is also covered in dust. Have you ever seen your precious little piece of technology covered in dust? It’s not a stimulating light, a dinging noise, a token for social validation, or your addiction. Every summer I realized that not only was I happier without my cellphone, but I simply didn’t need it.
I returned to the summer camp as a counselor a few years later. As for my relationship with technology, it became more complicated. I was still required to be off of my phone during work hours, which meant 23 hours a day, 6 days a week. Yet as a counselor, I had the option to check my phone each day during my hour off and each week on my day off. So that meant from 4pm-5pm each day, and all day on Tuesdays.
It was nice to have my phone in some ways. I would call my mom and dad and sometimes my friends from across the country. Somtimes, I would take it with me for some music while I went out for a run. I would take photos of the crazy escapades my friends and I would get up to on days off. I would check Facebook and do my stealthy stalking of whoever popped into my newsfeed. It’s hard not to, Facebook is like a constant stream of interesting yet irrelevant information about where your random friend from elementary school ended up. Or which country that dude you met abroad is off to now. All completely irrelevant but somehow so entertaining and addicting. But does using it this way actually add value to our lives?
Hiking the Half Dome Cables in Yosemite 
But in more ways than not, it was unpleasant to have my phone. The constant light and dinging and pines for my attention were taking me away from Yosemite National Park, incredible relationships, and hilarious moments. And now that I wasn’t a kid, I had my bank account to look after, my college thesis to start drafting, jobs to apply to for the fall, and more general life admin work which didn’t allow me to be disconnected 24/7.
Disconnecting Outdoors
Now years after summer camp, I live in New Zealand surrounded by nature. My absolute favorite activity here is adventuring through the backcountry. The views are absolutely breathtaking and there is so much to explore. Whether it’s for one-night or five, I always feel present. When I get to the top of a hike or the end of a trail, I feel so alive and connected to the world and connected to myself. It’s awesome! Also, look here, I am smiling! When do you look at your phone and smile? I feel like usually when I look at mine, I turn into a vegetated zombie…
Eventually, the sad thought comes creeping in… this adventure has to end and I have to go back to work on Monday.
That feeling when I am approaching the car reminds me of the feeling I would get at the end of summer camp. I know its ending and there’s nothing I can do about it. It feels like I am giving up my freedom and just going back to my regular life, much of which happens behind the screen. Sometimes it even feels like all my problems are waiting for me in the passenger seat of the car. I associate many of these problems with my phone and many of the solutions with being outdoors or surrounded by good friends.
Why is being in the backcountry so sick? Why is being at summer camp so pure? Of course there’s the obvious reason, the great outdoors is incredible and epic company makes it all the more fun! But there’s also the less-obvious reason, you can fully disconnect and try to exist in the here and now as much as possible.
I think I’ve figured out a few ingredients of the secret sauce: get outside, surround yourself with good people and ditch the phone.
Ways to Limit Your Social Media Use and Benefit Your Mental Health
So, knowing that it is unrealistic to completely throw your phone or computer away and live off the grid… Where do we go from here? How do we find balance? HelpGuide, a non-profit on mental health, has some solutions for curbing impulse-control problems and how to modify our relationship with social media. Below, I’ve combined a few of HelpGuide’s suggestions and insights from my personal experiences based in the outdoors.
Reduce Time on Social Media
HelpGuide suggests to “use an app to track how much time you spend on social media each day, turn off your phone at certain times of the day, disable social media notifications and remove social media apps from your phone.” I totally agree with these methods. I’ve found that the less notifications I get, the less overwhelmed I feel. The less apps on your phone, the less you’ll be checking the platforms and the more time you’ll have to build relationships with people in person!
Don’t Substitute Time Online for In-Person Connection
We all love the group chat. There’s something so satisfying about always having a constant reminder of what’s happening, what friends and family are up to, events that are coming up and breaking news. One way to have a healthier relationship with your screen is to ask yourself before sending something, “Is this urgent? Can I wait until I see my friends next to discuss it with them? Can I wait before our next Facetime to share this info face-to-face?”
The sense of urgency we’ve attached to our response times is concerning and leads to poor impulse control and attention issues. I know for me, I’m afraid if I don’t send something as soon as it pops into my mind, I will forget it. Admittedly, I need to work on having a better memory for these little details or grab a notebook and jot it down.
Have you ever realized how if you forget your phone, you can take charge of time? There are so many instances everyday where we are looking down at our screens and we could be more present. Maybe we could be more present when we’re waiting at the bus stop, waiting for an appointment, or even just taking a walk. We are constantly plugged in. Once we’ve unplugged, we can look around, meet new people, and appreciate the moment.
No photo on Instagram or Facebook status or blog post will ever replace being with someone in-person. One of my favorite things is to catch up with friends after a vacation or adventure. We snuggle up, grab some food and catch up about the journey. We don’t leave anything out: the incredible parts, the funny parts, the difficult parts and the unexpected parts. To me this is one of the most precious moments. Watching a friend’s vlog on Instagram about their crazy holiday adventure will never replace being with them in person and enjoying the moment. In some ways, I find that seeing the little glimmers on social are like spoilers before the big unveil, no spoilers please!
Get Outdoors and Sweat!
My favorite recommendation! Just last night I was feeling overwhelmed with the world and the noise. Nick made me get out of bed and take a run with him. It was 9pm. In Winter. It was 4 ℃ / 39 ℉. And guess what? It made me feel like a new person and so much better. I even got a passionfruit sorbet from Ferg halfway through the run. But anyway…
The are obvious benefits to being outside such as: boosting life satisfaction, improving sleep (many of us could use this!), burning calories, increasing social interaction, and relieving stress/anxiety.
I know I’ve heard all of these benefits before, but old habits die hard. We know it’s better for us to hop outside after work for a nice wintery walk or a sunny stroll, but why do we just grab the phone and plop on the couch? Probably because our phones are built to be as addictive as slot machines. Our brains get a dopamine hit when the dinging noises and lights go off. The addiction might be hard to break, but it’s time to start holding each other accountable.
Practice Gratitude
I really like that HelpGuide mentions to practice gratitude. They describe, “Feeling and expressing gratitude about the important things in your life can be a welcome relief to the resentment, animosity, and discontent sometimes generated by social media.”
I know I am guilty of doomscrolling. What if all that time we spent feeling discontent, we did something relaxing or engaged in a way that actually resulted positive impacts on ourselves and others?
This isn’t just a me problem, it’s is an us problem. And I want to help generate awareness about it. After reading this, maybe you’ll go out for a run or grab a coffee with a friend. But in all truth, you’ll probably jump back on your social media channels and start doomscrolling again.
