The Misadventures Of Moving To A New Place

Moving to a new place, we’ve all done it. It’s so relatable to pinpoint an experience where something or somewhere isn’t what it seems. Half of the fun of travel is the aspect of not knowing.

As mentioned in one of my previous posts, I recently got on another plane to another new place to start a new life. It wasn’t easy. To be frank, it was really hard. And it still is really hard. But somehow, moving to a new place now feels easier than the first time. Each new start feels a little bit easier than the last.

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Waves of Change

My life just spun 180 degrees around itself. About 8 weeks ago, I was surrounded by backpackers, inspired to travel to every country under the sun, and pursuing a minimalistic lifestyle so my 65L backpack stayed light to travel with.

Now, I’m surrounded by co-workers who own their homes, families with kids who host backyard barbecues, and people with dogs, cats, gardens, and home improvement projects.

I can’t stop pinching myself asking how I got here and how so much changed so quickly.

In June, I was filling out a visa to head to Australia and scout a new city to call home. Would it be Sydney, Melbourne, or Hobart? Would I learn to surf or join a running group? Now, my $300 worth of flight credit on JetStar remains unused. My wonders of Australia have temporarily subsided, but my curiosity definitely lingers.

If anything, I am relieved. I am so comforted knowing where my next paycheck is coming from and knowing that I have as much stability as I choose to embrace. It feels so unfamiliar to have so much comfort and stability.

I’m seeking a challenge like that of living abroad, yet nothing equates to feeling like you’re having the ground ripped out from under you with each visa expiration date. Getting a visa to allow my partner and I to simply live in the same place adds all sorts of unanticipated stressors.

Though, I wouldn’t change my situation for the world.

The Allure of the Curated Destination

Edited images, crafted descriptions and upbeat videos will never replace travel.

We can follow along and consume the dream of places we have yet to travel to, but the actual travel experience will never perfectly equate to that crystal clear image we see online.

Traveling to a new place and moving somewhere new feel eerily similar. Except when you travel, it’s impermanent. And when you move, you intend to stay.

Some small moments live-up to the brochure or the stories we’re told about somewhere.

When I drove into the Lakes Basin in Mammoth Lakes, I was transported to another world. A 10-minute drive from my little office, I’m immersed in the Inyo National Forest with backcountry trails in every direction. Apparently in winter, Mammoth completely transforms into a snowsports wonderland. All of this somewhat matched what I read online.

Yet, there are other moments that are completely unpredictable that I couldn’t have prepared for and that there’s no brochure about.

Somedays the smoke from wildfires is so thick I can barely breathe. I willingly moved somewhere experiencing a pandemic in an extremely tense and polarizing way. Not to mention, where many peoples’ health is at risk. I will have lived in 6 different places in 4 weeks because there’s a housing crisis. Although 60% of the homes in town are sitting pretty, and empty, as vacation rentals.

Moving to a new place is definitely a mixed bag.

When nothing feels familiar the highs are higher and the lows are lower. It’s easy to find comfort in a favorite place, well-known person or daily routine. But when there isn’t a familiar place, person or routine in sight, all you can do is find home within yourself.

Our Old Friend Culture Shock

Money, power, and status run Western culture. People are constantly seeking more and never satisfied.

I have devoted a lot of time to learning to be comfortable making less money, being less challenged at work, finding more of a work-life balance, and owning less things. Just as I started to change the notions of what I wanted out of my life, everything around me flipped upside down.

Now, I’ve been dropped into an environment where people want more: money, power, status, stuff and challenge. I’m inspired by the ambition but put off by the lack of balance. I’m not quite sure where the in-between exists.

I feel like I’m a character in a video-game that’s been plopped into the next level.

I’ve been back in the United States long enough to jog my memory about superficially important conversation topics like politics, Covid, National holidays, popular food, slang words and work.

But I didn’t just wake up the first day I got back as if the last two years didn’t exist. For two years of my life I lived under a different set of rules, in a different culture, and with very different goals. That doesn’t just go away because I slotted back into a place I used to know.

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There Are Different Ways to Live Abroad

New Zealand is important to me because it was the first place I could live uninhibited with my partner. No 90 days, you’re out, no inequity between us. Just us living together freely.

If I wanted, I could’ve gone to New Zealand with an American job, read American news, called my friends from home each day. But I didn’t. I worked in jobs all over the country. Paid taxes. Explored every nook and cranny of the country that I could. I tried to the best of my ability to immerse myself and enjoy the experience of living somewhere else.

I started my own dance crew and invested in a place more than I ever knew I was capable of. Ultimately, I gave so much of myself to a place and pursued a future there. It was evident that no amount of reading the NZ Herald, being part of a dance community, hiking every trail imaginable, applying to every job in the country, would allow us to stay. Something was missing in New Zealand and I came to Mammoth Lakes to find it.

What Now?

Now I’m trying to remember the nostalgia from New Zealand, the confusion of visas, and filter out the negativity. I am simultaneously trying to excel at my job in Mammoth, rediscover what it’s like to live in the US, find a local community and support system, and remind myself why I was seeking change in the first place.

Moving to a new place is not only a mixed bag. It’s a fresh start. And it’s a terrifying feat.

There’s only one way to do it though, which is to jump in head first.